Konoha Cheesecake: A Oneshot
by SSJ2 PikaFlash
Summary: Konohamaru and Hanabi are accidently locked in the basement of the Ninja Academy. [Oneshot. Title has nothing to do with story. Note: Konohamaru and Hanabi are aged around 18 to 19 in this fic. Implied Pairings: NaruHina, KonoHana]


Naruto was in front of a classroom of Academy Students. In the back row, with mostly empty seats, two Shinobis were there to watch how this would go. After all, this is the first time Naruto is to be on the other side of the Teacher's desk, especially when he is a substitute teacher for a class.

"Do you think he will choke, Konohamaru?" asked the white-eyed Shinobi.

"Who knows?" said the teenage Konohamaru. "Anything could happen, especially with him. Remember how he beat your cousin, Hanabi?"

"I guess it was big news at the time, since you were at the Academy while that match took place," said Hanabi. "Anyway, I wonder how this would go."

Naruto begins to address the class. "Hi, I'm your substitute teacher. You can call me Naruto-sensei if you want. I'm here because your usual teacher was on leave, so on to what we're looking at this week. Naruto picks up a file. "Oh, speaking of which, today is 'Alcohol Awareness Day' at the Academy. Well, I have many experiences on this."

_'Especially with that Ero-Sennin and Tsunade-baachan,'_ mentally noted Naruto.

"Here's what I will say on Alcohol." Naruto takes out a sheet of paper. The students don't know it's blank so they think it's a speech Naruto has prepared earlier.

"Alcohol, dangerous drug. If you drink Alcohol, you will die. And to bring that point home, I'm going to show a video. It's called **_'Pokémon: The Movie 2000'_**."

All lifeforms excluding Naruto within and around that classroom ended up in a massive facefault as Naruto puts the tape into a nearby VCR.

* * *

**Konoha Cheesecake - A One-shot**

By PikaFlash

Disclaimers: All characters, cast, crew, nutcases, ideas, songs belong to their respective owners.

_"Plus, any minor characters and OCs as will either be killed off on scene or be forgotten." _

_(A/N: Expect more Pastry-themed-titled one-shots.) _

_FYI: Konohamaru and Hanabi's ages are around 18-19 years. For other characters, do your own math. _

* * *

Later, Naruto, Hanabi and Konohamaru were in the scroll basement of the Academy as they returned some scrolls used during the class. 

"I'll be honest...That would be the first and last class I'll ever go if Naruto's the Teacher," said Hanabi.

"Though you'd make the best substitute teacher," Konohamaru added.

Naruto does his usual grin. "Why thank you," said Naruto. "All I know is that as long as those kids have learnt something in my class, I know that I will be a great Hokage in the future. Anyway, I'm going to Ichiraku's."

Naruto walks out of the scroll basement and closed the door behind him.

"Well, if Naruto doesn't want to stay, I don't see the need for me to stay," said Hanabi.

Hanabi walked to the door and tries to open it, only to find it locked.

"What's going on with this door?" asked Hanabi. "I can't open it."

Konohamaru takes out a pillow, a blanket and two bottles of Sake from a desk drawer. "Oh that? The lock's broken, and it can only be opened from the other side," explained Konohamaru. "And this is the third night in a row I've been locked in here, so I had prepared myself in case I get locked in here again. Time mysteriously passed by all thanks to a hidden stash of Sake I found. Some teacher must have stayed here to drown his sorrows." Konohamaru puts the pillow and blanket on the desk. "But it makes a difference having some company here, because I usually play a game or read the scrolls. Actually, I know a Math game I used to play as a kid with my grandfather. You think of a number and I'll try to guess it."

Hanabi thinks of a number. "Alright, I got one."

Konohamaru tries to give a guess for Hanabi's number...then he decided to give up. "Actually, my grandfather always does the guessing."

Hanabi facefaults.

**A Few Hours Later... **

Both Konohamaru and Hanabi had drunk a lot of Sake. Surprisingly, Hanabi has a higher tolerance to alcohol than Konohamaru.

"And that is why I was never asked to go near a musical instrument ever again," finished Konohamaru, succumbing to the effects of alcohol. "Anyway, why did you choose to become a Shinobi, Hanabi-chan?"

"Well...it was my mother's dying wish...and my father's birthday wish." Hanabi lied, knowing that Konohamaru won't remember the answer by the time he gets sober. But Hanabi decided to slip in a bit of truth. "In reality, I didn't want my life trapped within the walls of the Hyuga household and Konoha as the favored younger daughter of the Clan Leader. So, Konohamaru, why did you choose to be a Shinobi?"

Konohamaru leans back on his chair. "Two things...to become the Hokage...and deep down inside...to surpass Naruto," said Konohamaru. "But the main thing is that I know that I'm going to find the right girl for me."

_'What? How did he misinterpret my question?'_ thought Hanabi. _'Damn Sake.'_

Konohamaru takes out a photo from his pocket and shows it to Hanabi. "And this is a picture of my wonderful family, with Uncle Asuma and my grandfather on it, taken a year before the Old Man died."

Hanabi looks at the photo. "Why are you showing me a picture of Naruto and my sister?" It was a picture of a surprised Naruto and Hinata at Ichiraku's Ramen.

* * *

Meanwhile, at Ichiraku's ramen. 

Naruto was having his usual dinner of Ramen when Neji walked up behind Naruto and tapped him on the shoulder.

"What is it?" asked Naruto, annoyed at the interruption.

"Hanabi-sama's hasn't arrived home from the Academy yet and everyone says that you're the last person to see her," said Neji.

"Really? Well, the one you should look for is Konohamaru. I last saw him with Hanabi back at the academy, so it's not my problem. Maybe she eloped with Konohamaru..." Naruto stopped as soon as he could feel the killing intent within Neji's glare.

"Whatever it is, if you happen to see Konohamaru or my cousin..."

"Yeah, yeah," said Naruto as he continued to eat his Ramen. "Don't worry, when the time comes, I will trust Konohamaru with my life and eventually, so will Hanabi..."

* * *

Back in the basement... 

Konohamaru looked at Hanabi with a suggestive look, completely smashed from the sake. "You know, Hanabi-chan," said Konohamaru. "We have a wonderful friendship...let's ruin it."

Konohamaru moved his head forward, attempting to kiss Hanabi, only to fall face first onto the ground, out cold.

Hanabi decided to put the blanket over Konohamaru's sleeping form and decides to take the pillow and sleep in another part of the room, not before building a fort out of some heavy books and scrolls, in case Konohamaru tries to do something unconsciously in his sleep and end up in a compromising position in the event someone opens the door from the other side.

* * *

The next morning, Konohamaru wakes up to find Hanabi sitting on the chair watching Konohamaru as he suffers from a massive hangover. 

"Oh...my...god. I remember," said Konohamaru. "Usually I don't, but I can remember every single detail."

"What can you remember?" asked Hanabi.

"I remembered the love me made!" screamed Konohamaru. "What have I done? I've betrayed my family's honor, your father, your sister and...I've betrayed Naruto..."

Hanabi slapped her forehead. _'I knew it.'_ "Calm down, Konohamaru. You got a bit tipsy from the Sake last night and when you tried to kiss me and fainted."

"Don't deny it, my lover," said Konohamaru as he looks around the room. He believed that the rearrangement of the scrolls around the room was the caused of what he believed. "I can remember every sorted position, no matter how perverted it seems...and I'm sorry for what I've done." Konohamaru drops on his knees and bows to Hanabi in an apologetic manner.

"Look, Konohamaru, I love you and all but..."

Suddenly, Naruto opened the door to the basement, interrupting Hanabi. "Oh, so that's where you were. Come to think of it, I remembered hearing the lock clicked, but I wasn't sure, so I did the best thing I could: Go to Ichiraku's for dinner, get a good rest at home and come back in the morning to check."

At that moment, Hanabi landed a big slap on Naruto's face before leaving the scroll storage basement, leaving Naruto with a depressed Konohamaru.

"Ow."

Konohamaru was sitting on his chair when he looked up at his hero. "Naruto...you've done it to Hanabi's older sister. How did her family take it when you started dating her?" asked Konohamaru.

At that moment, Neji walks into the basement. Fortunately for Konohamaru, Neji didn't hear that last sentence.

"I saw Hanabi-sama walking out of the basement with a furious look on her face," said Neji. "What happened, Konohamaru?"

"Well...I got some bad news..."

Before Konohamaru could finish, Neji had a quick reading of Konohamaru's expression. "Please tell me it's not what I think it is"

"Well...I guess it is."

Neji sighed. "Judging from that disappointed face of yours, I never thought that Hanabi would bat for the other team."

Both Naruto and Konohamaru looked at each other in confusion.

**End **

* * *

**_A/N:_** Under no circumstances that we intend to purposely give bad reviews to this bad fanfic. The intention of this fanfic is to make you laugh and entertain in ways that has never been done before...badly. 

**_A Quick Plug:_** Please read and review the final edition of the Naruto News Show. A lot of effort was put into the final episode so, reviews would be appreciated. To find it, go to my author profile and look for the Naruto News Show, and go straight to the final chapter, which is fine by me because none of the chapters are remotely related.


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